I totally dropped the ball on most of my goals for last year. It’s just the truth.
When Jeff and I decided to let me quit my marketing job, the agreement was that I would spend my time learning new skills to put toward a future career that I would make for myself. I know that I will never be happy working a regular job with regular hours for someone else, so I was excited to have the opportunity to work towards self-employment. So, last year was about honing new skills and working on projects that may one day earn us a small income, namely through writing and photography.
I did not do the best job I could have of learning or using those skills last year. I’ve realized that my perfectionist mind has a way of stopping my progress completely if for some reason I feel that the work I’m doing isn’t perfect. I also have a bad habit of dooming myself with feelings of futility, that I’m doing months and months of work that will never pay off. And lastly, I’m realizing that I require a lot of unsolicited praise. If I’m not told that my work is good, I’ll just assume it isn’t.
In the last month or two I’ve finally started to pull out of that thought process. I’m starting to see value in my own work, to feel like it’s adding up to something worthwhile, and to accept that it won’t be perfect but that it will still be good. I wish that it hadn’t taken a year to feel that way, but I’m hopeful that I can do better to impress myself this year, to work hard to get the things I want, and to be who I want to be.
So maybe I should tell you exactly what has been causing me so much grief in the last year and what it is I’m finally excited to be working on. I’m writing a cookbook. It has been a ton of work but it’s finally coming together enough to see that all that work is adding up to something good. But not just that, I’ve also been learning how to take professional quality photos, for the book and also in the hopes of making a career out of photography some day.
Whew! I’ve waited so long to share that! Here’s a little sample of what you’ll find in the book…
Persimmon Walnut Breakfast Bread
Pork Katsu
I can’t wait to share the finished product with you! Cheers to a better 2012!
What is something that you hope to accomplish this year?
This is such exciting news!!! Your photos are gorgeous too – I especially love the one of the bread. Would love to hear more about how you go about writing a cookbook!
Laura @ Sprint 2 the Table recently posted..Mile-a-Day Challenge + WIAW
Thanks! I’m working hard to get my photos up to book-quality standards and I’m liking how they’re turning out so far. I’ll definitely share more about the process as time goes on.
A cookbook?! What a wonderful surprise!! It can be tough to be so honest with yourself about missed goals/”dropped balls,” but it sounds like for you it’s going to morph into a successful future in due time. I can’t WAIT to hear more about the book! I certainly know how much work goes into one, so I can relate to your stress. Do share more info!
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I’m sure you are intimately familiar with just how much work it is to write a book, since you’ve just revealed your own finished work! It is a lot more work than I thought it would be, but the hardest work is in overcoming the doubt that it will be good and that people will be excited about it. I’m glad that I can talk about it now!
Ah yes, the self-doubt is a whole other beast to contend with. There will always be naysayers…but there’s sure to be MANY more supporters.
Amber Shea @Almost Vegan recently posted..Easy curry-roasted cauliflower
Congratulations on the book! I understand the perfectionist sentiments but I’m glad you’re becoming accepting of and happy with what you do! Keep at it; you make some lovely food.
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Thank you! Nothing makes me happier than to hear that my food is tasty and/or lovely!
*squeals and dances* Congratulations!! From over here, this doesn’t look like ball-dropping at all! You had a goal, and slowly but surely you’re getting yourself there. Wonderful, wonderful, huzzah!
I’m glad you see it that way.
It’s gonna be a mad rush over here to get it done by the deadline I’ve set for myself, but I’m trying to make up for lost time.
AWESOME!!! That is so exciting, Alayna! And I know first hand how difficult it is trying to make a career happen on your own. I can NEVER work a normal desk job again, but it sure is scary being out there and fending for yourself. I think it’s 100% worth it though!
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Definitely worth it! Your success is a great inspiration for me. It’s so helpful to see others succeed!
Yay – I’m so excited that you’ve shared these goals out loud, it is very intimidating! And I *love* the bread photo, that is gorgeous! I can imagine that writing a cookbook (or any book) is a lot of time, and stress, and self-doubt as you go; so remember to be patient with yourself. I hope you’ll share how things are going as you go through this process – it’s so interesting!
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You’re right that I need to be patient with myself. I’ll definitely keep sharing this process, it keeps me accountable!
I’m very excited for you! I can’t wait to see the cookbook.
Once a perfectionest, always a perfestionest. It’s a good thing!!! You are so incredibly talented in everything you do. I can’t wait to hold one of the first copies of that new cookbook when it’s ready. I know it will be awesome. I’m so happy you got a new camera from your sweet hubby, maybe you could come and take some cool photos of your niece and nephew one day.
Jeff and I were just saying that it might be cool to do a portrait session with Astrid and Lula. I would get pics for a portfolio and Danielle gets new family photos out of it!
Sounds great!!!
I do the same thing with perfectionism and letting it get the best of me. I KNOW you have tons of talent, Alayna. You will make a great cookbook and I’ve told you that since the beginning of when you told me. I believe in you, girl! And for good reason. It all looks GREAT so far.
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Thank you Tina! I am so genuinely happy for the success you’ve achieved in the last year, which is why I hold your opinion so highly. It feels very good to have a successful person tell me that I have what it takes!
What an exciting project. The teaser recipes and photos look fantastic. Best of luck with completing the recipe book – I’m sure it’ll be a success!
Thanks! I’m up to my elbows in picture-taking lately, glad to hear they’re looking nice!
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